I havent written for a long time
Because I just didn't know how or what I should write
I have been puzzeling and trying to find my way.
I have been lost lately not knowing what I do and what i don't want out of my life
but no matter how lost I get
I know I want to be with you
You can always make me smile,
Even when I would like to just dig a hole crawl into it and die
you make me want to open up,
even tho all I want to do is to crawl in a corner and cry all day long,
I have been sad not knowing what is my fault what happend to me in my life
And what is someone elses
I have been changing my view I had of the world
Sometimes I cry not knowing what I should be thinking or should be feeling,
Or when a feeling shows up out of my past,
When I remember that I opend up,
Like really opend up letting everything down that protected me and I got turned away
When I remember those times all I want to do is cry.... Just cry for what happend and what was
Now i found you I see that I love you
I see that I Miss you when you are not near...
It is weird it is like you are a pièce of me a happy one and that if you are not close to me I don't know where to turn
You are my safe haven,
My harbour where I can just be myself and show my pain without being laughed at or turned away....
Atleast I hope so
I apologize for it that I put that burden on you.....
That I put it on you to help me Guide me through my pain
To help me Find me who I am again
But the better version because you opended my eyes to other ways too perceive
To see myself as a better person...
You once asked if it helpen that you said nice things about me
yes it does,
It is hard to see it but I believe it when you tell me and look deep in too your eyes.
When I look in your eyes I believe I am all those things you say.
And every day I start believing it a little more even if you are not around me and I can't see your eyes, even then I simply believe that you really mean it and believing that makes comes easier to me every day ...... I hope I am not wrong for believing in it ?
You make me a better person
À proud person
But it is hard to find a new way,
Because I can't go back to my old self and old ways I realise that,
But finding a new path is hard and a struggle and that's I what you have seen me do the last few days.....
This is just a message so that everybody can read that I am thankfull that you stick with me even tho it has been hard for me lately ... Even though I have been Sad...
You have been there for me always making me smile,
Always making me laugh
And most Importantly to let me remember what good there is in me which you see,
That you help me remember that there is a reason to love the world Because you are in it, remember that even when I break someone .... Not just someone you Will be there to catch me and hold me... And care that I am Sad.....
I think that that is a important reason why I have been able to cry lately even though I havent been for years.....
I couldn't cry for years Because I knew nobody would care Or that they would be glad I was Crying Because that would mean they had won ....
But Now I know if I cry someone does care .... So Now I met you I can finaly start to heal and better myself.... Because I know you care... or atleast I believe you do
And for that I thank you very much ..... I love you.....
