Falling

I know I love you,
But I am just not sure if you still love me too,

You leave me hanging like I am hanging on a cliff,
Ready to fall down to earth and die a painfull death ....

You do not understand where I am coming from,

You are the person where I seemed to have searched for all my life,
And now you are in my reach you are still so far away ...

I had a difficult life so far,
But that all seemd to faid when I looked into your eyes. ..

But now you leave me hanging,
You seem not certain if this is what you want.
If I am what you want.

But whatever your choise is...
Just make sure you know mine ...

I wil love you till the end of days ...
If there is something like reincarnation and I remember you even the slightest bit I will go looking for you .

I will die a thousand death's if it means I could be with you...

But a gazillion other things seem more important in your life ...

And even if everything else is more important that does not matter to me...
you are the one that matters,

You ;re the one that holds my heart ...

Just dont lose your grip or forget that I am hanging on a cliff

Just don't let me fall to the ground ...
Because if you let me fall to the ground ...
I know for sure a big piece of me will die ..

I love you and that is all what matters ....
Please just come back to me ...

So figure out what you want, if it is me or something else out of life ...
But just stop doing this to me ....

It hurts to much to see how unimportant I am
It hurts to damn much....
Like i am already falling and heading for the ground ...
I do not ask for much in life ...
All I ask you is ... Please do not let me fall and hit the ground ...

I love you ...

The road ahead

Today i am afraid. Afraid that i will loose things that i hold important to me.
That i will loose the things i cherish or the person i always were.

Change isn’t always good and things have been changing in my life lately.

A lot of people have judged me and a lot of people will keep judging me.

And I know I haven’t always been the person I want to be or a good person for that matter

Or at least that is what the people around me tell me

But for the people who really know me they know I am trying

They know I am trying to become the person I always wanted to be

That I am trying to become a better person then I am right now

But the people that know me, know as well that when I cherish you and love you

There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you

Nothing I would give up to help you out

Nothing I wouldn’t do to make you feel save and cherished.

I hope those people realize that… because when the people I love see it that is enough for me.

Or not really but when the people I love see that I am trying that makes it worth all the effort that it takes to change

And I hope that one day I will reach my goal and become a better person.

So that people don’t see me as a awful person or at least not judge me like one anymore.

That the people I love and hold dear are happy to be seen with me,

Or aren’t ashamed to know me

And are happy to be around me and not be afraid to be judged by others that they hang out with me

That’s my new goal and I’m working on it but a goal like that takes time…

And I hope that anytime in the future I can say ... that I’m a good person.. I hope that time will come

And the day I will be able to say I ‘m a good person I will be happy.

Not for myself but for the people around me that I finally can be the person they deserve.

Because the people around me deserve the best I can be

So that is why I will keep working on myself, will keep trying.

No matter how hard it is or how much effort it takes or how much it will hurt me.

So that one day I can be the person the people I love deserve, and they only deserve the best

So I have a long road ahead of me and a lot of mountains to conquer … but maybe one day I will reach my destination and will become the person everybody deserves.