Thank you for taking care of me

I havent written for a long time
Because I just didn't know how or what I should write

I have been puzzeling and trying to find my way.
I have been lost lately not knowing what I do and what i don't want out of my life

but no matter how lost I get

I know I want to be with you

You can always make me smile,
Even when I would like to just dig a hole crawl into it and die
you make me want to open up,
even tho all I want to do is to crawl in a corner and cry all day long,

I have been sad not knowing what is my fault what happend to me in my life
And what is someone elses

I have been changing my view I had of the world

Sometimes I cry not knowing what I should be thinking or should be feeling,
Or when a feeling shows up out of my past,

When I remember that I opend up,
Like really opend up letting everything down that protected me and I got turned away
When I remember those times all I want to do is cry.... Just cry for what happend and what was

Now i found you I see that I love you
I see that I Miss you when you are not near...

It is weird it is like you are a pièce of me a happy one and that if you are not close to me I don't know where to turn

You are my safe haven,
My harbour where I can just be myself and show my pain without being laughed at or turned away....
Atleast I hope so

I apologize for it that I put that burden on you.....

That I put it on you to help me Guide me through my pain

To help me Find me who I am again
But the better version because you opended my eyes to other ways too perceive
To see myself as a better person...

You once asked if it helpen that you said nice things about me
yes it does,
It is hard to see it but I believe it when you tell me and look deep in too your eyes.
When I look in your eyes I believe I am all those things you say.
And every day I start believing it a little more even if you are not around me and I can't see your eyes, even then I simply believe that you really mean it and believing that makes comes easier to me every day ...... I hope I am not wrong for believing in it ?


You make me a better person
À proud person

But it is hard to find a new way,
Because I can't go back to my old self and old ways I realise that,

But finding a new path is hard and a struggle and that's I what you have seen me do the last few days.....

This is just a message so that everybody can read that I am thankfull that you stick with me even tho it has been hard for me lately ... Even though I have been Sad...

You have been there for me always making me smile,
Always making me laugh
And most Importantly to let me remember what good there is in me which you see,
That you help me remember that there is a reason to love the world Because you are in it, remember that even when I break someone .... Not just someone you Will be there to catch me and hold me... And care that I am Sad.....

I think that that is a important reason why I have been able to cry lately even though I havent been for years.....

I couldn't cry for years Because I knew nobody would care Or that they would be glad I was Crying Because that would mean they had won ....

But Now I know if I cry someone does care .... So Now I met you I can finaly start to heal and better myself.... Because I know you care... or atleast I believe you do

And for that I thank you very much ..... I love you.....

New Year 's Eve

Today is the day of New Year’s Eve,

When the sun came up a new day started

And when the sun goes leaves is in the dark tonight when it goes down

A new year will be starting,

First of all I would like to wish you all a good new year,

That everything may be peaceful and full of happiness for every single one of you.

That for the people who have been going through a though time find a way to leave those behind them, and those who haven’t been the best person they could be that they will better themselves and therefore make the life of others better as well..

So be kind to the others around you threat the people the way you would want to be threated yourself. Make a promise to yourself to make yourself a better and nicer person to be around even though most of you already are good people I believe the people you love always deserve the best you got. Therefore I believe that everyone should promise themselves every year to become a better person, a kinder person even if it is just for a little while.

And for myself I of course promise myself to become a better person so the people I love will get the best, and only the best is what they deserve.

It is a New Year. Therefore a new beginning I will leave everything behind me what went wrong in 2011 and let it stay there. This new year is a new start for all of us.

2012 is important to me it is a new start for me, a new beginning for me, a new start where I waited for so long. And for the person I love who can’t be with me today. I love you a lot and I wished you were here I will be thinking of you and keeping your heart close to mine not only tonight and this day but for the rest of my life.  So know even though you’re not here I will be thinking of you and wish you the best for this new beginning this new year in which I hope we will spend a lot of time together.

That we will smile, laugh and even sometimes cry

But as long as I am with you everything ( I know it will),

Will be fine..

So I hope I see you soon in this new year that is approaching soon.

And to everyone else I wish you a blessed 2012.

Happy New Year’s