Not good enough

What I will be writing right now is very different then I usually write. This time I will be writing about my worries because right now I am very worried and annoyed so I had to write it down to be able to handle it… Because right now at this point I am just mad, sad and lonely

Being with you everything is always perfect… I love being with you more then I love to be anywhere else in the world.. But there is always one negative downside…. 

Parents I am worrying that you’re parents thing I am not good enough… and worrying that my parents think I am not smart enough to make my own choices (knowing that one of the choices I made is to be with you… nothing will change that because I am very happy with that choice)… worrying about my parents not letting me go and making the one good thing I have in my life … being you…. Very hard to enjoy…

 My mother suddenly out of the nowhere started complaining that I wasn’t answering her questions but I was …. And now she isn’t texting back so I assume she is mad or something like that…

It is just annoying how it seems that I can’t do anything right with anybody. Everybody wants me to make different choices, have another opinion… be more like that other person… Or basicly everybody wants me to be someone else…

And I tried I tried to be what everybody asked me I changed and changed… over and over again. But nothing ever seems enough. No matter how hard I try how much I change there is always something else they think is not right. Or not how they want it to be…

But nobody ever asks me to be just me … Because no matter how much flaws I have ( yes I have many flaws) they will still love me anyhow …

But that is not how the world works everybody wants me to change ,

And it is driving me crazy !!

Why doesn’t anyone accept me the way I am.. A bitchy person, with a little heart, who will be loyal to everybody who just loves her … who deserve my trust …

But no there is always something wrong with me and no matter how hard I try…

Everybody around me will be trying harder to find my faults…

And they will succeed because I have my faults a lot of them…

So I am going crazy …. I just wished I could talk to you right now because you always know the right thing to say….

But I can’t reach you at the moment…

So now I will just be going crazy …

And hope that I won’t lash out and hurt someone I love

Because everybody  deserves the best of me no matter if they keep throwing my faults in my face…

I hope I can talk to you soon so I can calm down and find my peace again…

And feel at my place again ….